It's December 19, 2011. I wake up and notice with slight interest that I've grown a beard overnight. “How strange,” I say to myself, as I blow a red bubble out of my mouth. “I don't remember having a beard last night. What's more, It's rainbow colored, and I can control it at will. I wonder why.” I continue blowing bubbles of various colors as I walk down the hall to the bathroom. As I drink some of my mom's lavender-scented shampoo, I also see myself in the bathroom mirror and realize my skin is I'm green. As I walk down the hall, I observe that the bubbles I uncontrollably blow are setting the rug on fire as they pop. I'll never understand why my mom ran out of the house screaming as soon as I entered the kitchen. Oh well. I try to eat some toast, but the bubbles I blow always burn it up before I can get it to my mouth. I finally concede to shoving instant Butterscotch pudding down my throat with a wooden spoon, since it seems like that's the only thing that is immune to the bubbles. I walk out of the side door of my house and onto the street. As people around me scream and panic, I sprint for the giant pencil eraser. But sadly, it flies away as soon as I get there. Feeling dejected, I head onto the stage. I look out at my adoring fans, and see a huge crowd of disembodied toes, cheering and waving back and forth. Life is good after all.
After my performance is over, I slowly walk back home. I feel like I could sleep until Mr. Pladoobee comes home. Juggling pinwheels that are five feet in diameter isn't easy, especially when you're standing on a pile of old candles. As I near the house, I see a column of blue smoke rising from where my house should be. When I finally get there, I find a piece of chicken lying on the ground. I munch on it, and notice where my house once was, there's only a charred skeleton. I don't mind, though; I never liked that house very much. The only problem now is to escape from the giant blobs of Oobleck falling from the sky.
I dodge the blobs right and left, getting nearer and nearer to Chickobo Station. Finally I reach it, without a single drop of Oobleck on me. I cower under the bench at the station, snarling at anyone who comes to close. Then I see the huge chicken, racing down the tracks. It's the last one. If I can just get on this chicken, everything will be all right, and I'll never have to deal with Oobleck again. But there's a gargantuan crowd of people already there. The chicken puffs to a stop beside the station, and I elbow my way through the mob. Suddenly, a huge blob of Oobleck starts standing up on top of the chicken and dancing. Everyone screams. The crowd washes backwards, and I'm pulled along with it. But I have to get to that chicken. I run forward, shooting everywhere with my handguns. I'm almost there, but the chicken starts running out of the station—with the Oobleck on it! I fiercely run towards it, and jump in the air, guns blazing. But the Oobleck still dances. At the last moment, my beard catches the Oobleck by surprise with an uppercut. The dancing Oobleck falls off, dead, and I land on the chicken just in time, as it speeds out of the station, headed for Weirdo Land and home. I blow another bubble out of my mouth.
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