Sickness

I was sick and that is why I have not been posting. Although sickness is usually not fun, unless you like being sick, don't like being sick but still think it's fun, or need to be sick as part of your disguise as a sick person so you can get into a certain hospital to deliver a secret packet of information to a certain person who will go to the dairy farm and deliver the secret packet of information on the location of the sugar bowl to some cheesemakers, you are probably glad I was sick, scince that stopped me from posting nonsenseical and/or stupid stuff on this blog.

Thirteen Weeks

It's been about THIRTEEN WEEKS since this blog was created. Or something like that. No, actually I have no idea. But yeah. About sort of.

Suspicious Lady Update

I have been watching the lady at my school that looks like Count Olaf for the past few weeks, and I quickly noticed another thing that makes me think even more that she's Count Olaf. She's (or he's) got white stockings on. White stockings that you can't see through. White stockings that would be perfect for hiding a tatoo of an eye on your left ankle!

Largest Flower

The largest flower in the world weighs 24 pounds and smells like rotting flesh. It would make a great houseplant.

It's three feet in diameter.

Zoo-Wee Mama

My very own Zoo-Wee Mama comic.

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

My dad said I have to close down my blog because it's too weird. I'll be deleting it tomorrow. Actually, that's probably good for you, but I really liked my blog. )-:

THIS MONSTROSITY WAS CREATED BY A STRANGE PERSON
AND RATHER UNFOURTUNATELY WAS PUT HERE AT 12:08 PM

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Happy April Fool's Day!

A New Picture of Me

I am so beautiful. Finally, my almost unbearably attractive face is revealed to the general public.

I was having a spasam of weirdness right there, sorry about that. I'm still devilishly handsome.

New Website!

I made a website but it's not the one I've told you I was making. It's a cheesy little thing, but it has forums, so for at least right now, use those and ignore the other one. Here's the web address: fingajinga.webs.com

Oh, and by the way, now there are 39 Posts! Amazing.

Now and Later Thing Update (see "New Package of Little Now and Later Thingies")

I just opened the Apple flavored package and there are actually four individual Now and Laters in there, but each is wrapped in plain wax paper instead of the normal wrapper.

Yogo Gyp

I just opened a package of these sour Yogos and they only gave me three greens, which are the best and sourest flavor. What a ripoff.

New Package of Little Now and Later Thingies

Yesterday I bought like this pack of Now and Laters but they were actually bars that are worth like four Now and Laters each and there were eight in the package, and they were all different flavors. Here's a list of them in rainbow order....

Grape
Cherry
Strawberry
Peach Smash
Banana
Pineapple
Apple
Watermelon

and in alphabetical

Apple
Banana
Cherry
Grape
Peach Smash
Pineapple
Strawberry
Watermelon

So since one bar is worth four regulars, and there's eight bars, that means there's....let's see, four times eight....thirty two! Thirty two Now and Laters! Eight different flavors! AND.....I bought it at the 99 cents store!

My Favorite Color

Here's my favorite color: John Smith Weirdy
By the way, did you know that yellow is the favorite color of most insane people?

St. Patrick's Day

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Well, actually, happy St. Patrick's Day! Hmph. So there. Orange. What're you going to do about it?

Pee-Scented Cleaner Still Remains

It's been five days since my dad used that awful spray cleaner that smells like pee. (see Pee-Scented Bathroom Cleaner) and the smell still remains. This is horrible!

Dust in Floppy Disk Drive

Last night I pushed open the little door on my floppy disk drive and looked in for no particular reason at all, and saw piles and piles of dust. Huge mounds, about a half inch high in some places! I want so bad to clean it! Every time I think about it, I feel like somebody's tickling me from the inside of me and I want to clean all the dust off SO BAD!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

Added Benefit of my Blog

Another good thing about having a blog is that I can do this when my mom tells me to practice my typing, instead of using that dumbhead typing program. Ha ha. Take that, Typing Instructor Deluxe!

Pee-Scented Bathroom Cleaner

Today my dad used a cleaner, you know, from a spray bottle, like Windex, and the stuff smells EXACTLY like old, stale, pee. This horrendous spray is called "X·14 Oxy Citrus" They say it smells like citrus fruit but this is a completely false claim. It smells like pee. My dad used it in the morning, and you can still smell it in the bathroom and also in my parents' bedroom, where my dad used it on the computer keyboard. If you ever see this, don't buy it. Remember, "X·14 Oxy Citrus" cleaner.

Suspicious-Looking Lady at School

Today a woman was sighted that looks suspiciously like Count Olaf. She had the same large, curving nose, long chin, glinty eyes, and get this: she had painted-on eyebrows! Count Olaf must have shaved off his unibrow and painted on eyebrows. This is not a joke. I really saw this lady. She looked just like him.

Fingajinga Forums

Guess what I now have a FORUM that's really weird! You're thinking now, "Oh, great, first this demented blog pops up, then he tells us he's working on a website, and now a forum! What will become of us?!" But don't worry; here's the web address of it so you'll know not to go there: http://fingajingaforums.groups.live.com

Rottwilers (And Other Equally Horrid Dogs)

Rottwilers are horrible. They are vicious and mean and awful and bloodthirsty. They like to maul people. I hate rottwilers. They're ugly, too. Also ugly and mean are pitbulls. Pitbulls are very very ugly as well as being vicious. Also bulldogs, of course. Bulldogs win first prize for hideousness. I think all theese dogs--rottwilers, pitbulls, bulldogs--should be completely wiped off the face of the earth (Along with purple-striped jellyfish). Do you have a rottwiler? Hate mail to the usual address, please.

Sock Problems Resolved (See "Not Enough Socks")

Well, my mom found out from my blog that I'd been wearing socks dug out of the hamper, and bought me some new ones (Maybe she didn't like me wearing dirty socks? I don't know, that seems pretty far-fetched, but I can't think of any other explaination. Can you? Email me.) Anyway, she bought me some new socks, which are fine except they "HANES", you know, like on underwear waistbands? Except this is on the bottom, right behind the toe, in theese huge big blue letters, and it's so big and fat it bothers my foot. Oh, well. Whatever.

MILESTONE: 26 Posts!

Cayenne Pepper in Scrambled Eggs

Sometimes my dad will put cayenne pepper in scrambled eggs and I hate it. I like cayenne pepper in some things, but I DO NOT LIKE IT IN EGGS!!! Grrrrrr.

Baked Potatoes

I had a baked potato for dinner today. I put butter and salt and pepper and cheese on it and then I ate it, even the skin. Before, I didn't like mashed potatoes or baked potatoes but then I learned that if you don't put gravy on my mashed potatoes it makes them way better so then I liked mashed potatoes, and would even try to mash up my baked potato into a mashed one, by mashing it. But then suddenly, and without warning, I stopped liking mashed potatoes. Then one day my mom made me eat a baked potato and I liked it. So that's the real story behind all the folklore and legends.

Fountain Accomplishments

There's this fountain in the backyard that was filled with glarkeeshnarkee (FreakenLakinDookinFlakin word for mucky, brown, water that has algae and rotten leaves and all kinds of garbage and sludge in it) so me and some other weirdo dumped it out and hosed it down, the whole thing, and then a beautiful mosiac appeared when all the garbage was gone. So then we set it up again and fixed the pump (well, plugged it in), and filled it water and now there's a nice little fountain in the backyard. Yay.

p.s. I'm sorry I didn't do anything on the blog in so long. I'm so ashamed....

Sweethearts

You know the Sweethearts candy from Necco? Do you like them? I HATE them. They taste awful. I got a box in science class and gave it to Casey, and he tried selling it to Noah, and then I said, "Hey, I want those back!", because I wanted to sell them, but then nobody would buy them, so now I'm stuck with this lousy box of Sweethearts. Maybe Terrence will want them. Hmmmm..... or Chris..... fifty cents?..... no, too low, better start high and lower the price..... make 'em think they're getting a discount..... I wonder how much dough I can make.......

More Thoughts on Breakfast

As described in "Thoughts on Breakfast", cereal boxes continually say how wonderful breakfast is. Here's one example, copied word for word from a Kellog's Cocoa Krispies box.

Start your day with a delicious bowl of Kellog's cereal and you'll benefit from it's nutrients. That's right, research shows that breakfast is linked to having a healthy body weight. Breakfast eaters have healthier body weights than those who skip breakfast. In fact, studies show eating cereal as part of a nutritious breakfast is important for both children and adults to promote healthy weight.

Lies. All lies. My dad has been not eating breakfast for some time now and he's losing weight. Just another gimmick to sell cereal. What's the world coming to?

Progress is Progressing on the Website

Unfortunately, I'm steadily working on the website. Hopefully, the files will inexplicably disappear off my computer. The world would be a better place if they did.

Thirteen Days

It's been THIRTEEN DAYS since this blog was created.

More Weirdness

You probably thought I had stopped posting. You thought, "He hasn't done anything in four days, he's forgotten about the whole thing. We're safe." Well, you were wrong! I'm back, and I have more deppressingly weird news. I'm making a website, that, if possible, will be even weirder than this blog. It's not ready yet, but when it is, I'll tell you the web address so you know what to avoid.

Barnacle Problems

Barnacles are destroying the historic Nardobee Pier in southern Montotistan. Most scientists agree that removing them would cause a serious problem. They don't know what the problem would be, but you can bet it'll be serious. So there's nothing we can do. Too bad.

Major Bookin' Cook Awesomeness

I got to level 10 of 12 on Cartoon Network.com's Bookin' Cook! And it's very hard that high up, even if the game has a retarded name.

Scrambled Egg Success

Just last night I made PERFECT scrambled eggs with just the right amount of butter in the pan (see "Scrambled Eggs"). Yay!

Now & Later "Green Tingleberry"

There is a new flavor of Now and Later called Green Tingleberry, and it is HORRIBLE! Don't eat it! It comes in a pack with Red Radberry and Purple Wildberry. Red Radberry isn't very good; it's too sweet with no flavor. Purple Wildberry is the best, but it's not good enough to buy the whole thing, since the other two thirds are no good. And plus, all of them have dumb names.

Boiled Eggs

I hate boiled eggs. I love all other kinds of eggs, but I hate them boiled. Yuk.

MILESTONE: 13 Posts!

Not Enough Socks

I don't have enough socks so I end up wearing dirty ones I dig up from the dirty clothes hamper. I need more socks. It's not that I mind wearing dirty ones; I could care less, but digging them out of the hamper is a pain.

Small Basketball Veiwed on Big! Lots Sign

Rumors about a basketball on the "L" of the Big! Lots sign were confirmed yesterday. Here's a photo:

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone out there! Well....not everyone. There's a few people whose names I won't mention who I really don't like and ......

Useless Scooter

The shocks constantly fall out of my scooter, to the point where the whole thing is now useless. They fall out about every thirty seconds. Dumb shocks.

Mounds Bar

I reccieved a Mounds bar today. Mounds bars are the best candy on earth.

Wasted Saturdays

Adults waste Saturdays so often. They make kids go to art museums, concerts, shopping trips, and all kinds of things, and don't let the kids stay home and play video games in peace, or play with their freinds down the street. It's awful. In just a few minutes I will be forced to go on a bunch of errands with my parents. This stinks.

Thoughts on Breakfast

All those cereal boxes always say "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day" and all that. They say it gives you thinking power for school. Energy. All kinds of stuff. But why should we trust them? They want to sell their dumb cereal to make more dough so what do you think they're going to say? "Breakfast is not important at all." ? Breakfast is a hoax. And so are all the other meals. I never get hungry at lunch or dinner. Instead of "Breakfast" when you wake up, "Lunch" in the middle of the day, and "Dinner" in the early evening, we should have these mealtimes: "Floco" at around 10:00 a.m., "Slataboo" at about 3:30 p.m., and "Vorvavoota" right before bed. That's when I get hungry.

p.s. you might think "Brunch" would be a better name for "Floco", but you see, "Brunch" is a combination of "Breakfast" and "Lunch", and we're completely eliminating any traces of those. So that's why we use "Floco", which literally means "Middle of the morning" in FreakenLakenDookinFlakin, the official national language of Weirdo Land.

p.p.s. "Slataboo" means "afternoon euphoria", and "Vorvavoota" means "nighty-night-night-night-night."

Anti-Snailitism

When you make your profile on this thing, you can say you're male, female, or not specify. But what about snails? Snails are male and female at the same time! What about them? What if they want to make a blogspot account? It's not fair.

Scrambled Eggs

Scrambled eggs are disgusting with too much butter in the pan. Nauseating. I think I'm going to barf now....

My Views on Leftover Spaghetti

Leftover spaghetti is disgusting. That's all there is to it. The sauce is all dried on to the spaghetti so you have to put water on it before you put it in the microwave, and you end up with semi-moist congealed garbage sticking to the spaghetti with red tomato flavored water in the bottom of your bowl. Lousy garbage.

New Lego Set

I got a new lego set.

New Blog

This is a new blog. It is small right now, but it will be bigger later.