Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I hate algebra!!! Blargafarga!

A Duck's Quack

A duck's quack never echoes. And nobody knows why.

Hitler's Mother

Here's a picture of Adolf Hitler's mother. It speaks for itself.

The Prince of Wales

Here he is:

The Most Awesome Thing.....

Coming Soon.

Nuts.

I can't sign in to my website. I forgot my username and password. Poop.

The Adventures of John Smith Weirdy Chapter 3

The Adventures of John Smith Weirdy

Chapter 3

As you remember, we had reccently gone to my great-grandmother's house, because Mr. Erickson told us to. She gave us hot chocolate, (my great-grandmother, not Mr. Erickson) and then we both jumped up on her knobby back and started off across the endless desert. Just then, my mom came running after us, being pursued by an enourmous tarantula. She hopped on too and we galloped across the sands. Suddenly, the wooden cheerio flew down and whapped the tarantula on his butt. It gave a blood-curdling moooooooooooooooo! and hopped away. The cheerio followed us at close distance as we neared our house. My dad picked up seven small porta-potties as we wnt along, but there was nothing to throw them at. No matter. We were almost to our residence. But there was one last obstacle between us a our humble abode: a poopball.

I HAVE RETURNED!

Unfortunately.

Website Cheapness

My website is cheap. I need to do something about that. In response to the overwhelming amount of emails I am getting about this blog, no, I did not forget about my blog, I was just staying at my freind Bob's house and he doesn't like technology so I couldn't get on a computer. Wow, it's been a long time, hasn't it? Feels good to be back. BIG FAT STINKIN LOUSY FREAKIN WIERDO!

Sir Bob and the Sewer Rat

Here's a short story I wrote. I hope you'll like it, but probably not.

Sir Bob and the Sewer Rat

Once upon a time, there lived a brave but rather stupid knight named Sir Bob. Sir Henry Bob. One day, Sir Bob was walking in the forest when he spied a beuatiful young lady. She was walking at a distance, away from Sir Bob, and he ran to meet her. Immediatly, he noticed that she was rather short. And plump. In fact, she was fat. She had looked good from a distance, but now she looked pretty ugly to Sir Bob. Well, he wasn't interested anymore, so he turned away and was about to leave when the lady turned around (she had had her back turned the whole time and apparently hadn't even known Sir Bob was there) and Sir Bob saw that she had the most beuatiful face he had ever seen. He completely forgot about the rolls of fat and ran toward her. Then she--or it--took off her--or its--mask and Sir Bob saw that the "lady" was really a huge, fat, ugly sewer rat. And then Sir Bob realized that this sewer rat was the dreaded Buttaviaus. No other rat could possibly be so huge. Or fat and ugly, for that matter. Sir Bob then drew his great battle sword and was about to run the rat through when the rat took off another mask and underneath was the face of a beautiful lady. "Oh, no! You can't fool me twice!" said Sir Bob, and stabbed at the horrid thing. Amazingly, his giant sword simply bounced off the enormous rolls of fat on the sewer rat's body. Then Buttaviaus ran and when he did, the garments he wore came off, revealing ugly, matted fur with algae growing out of it in places. His mask also fell of and under it was a face even uglier than the first. This, thought Sir Bob, must be his real face. You can't get much uglier than that. Sir Bob didn't give chase, for although Buttaviaus had very lagre rolls of fat, he could run surprisingly fast, faster than Sir Bob, since he was used to riding horses and not running.

That night, Sir Bob heard a strange noise coming from....somewhere. Sir Bob's hearing wasn't so good. Then his bed jiggled. He looked under it. All his servants were huddled up under the bed. "It's Buttaviaus!" one of them whispered. "Well, why aren't you doing anything? Why are you hiding under the bed? What's wrong with you?" said Sir Bob. "We're scared. We don't want to go out there. We--" A toilet flush cut him off. "You fools! He's getting away! He's flushing whatever he's stolen down the toilet!" (flush) "There he goes again! Come, let's catch him before he makes away with all my stuff!" He led the way to the bathroom*, but when they got there, Buttaviaus was gone.
The next day, Sir Bob went to the king's castle. Sir Bob knew that the king had made a Royal Decree saying that anybody who was stolen from by Buttaviaus the Sewer Rat could have all the stolen possesions replaced by the king, if .the person had wounded Buttaviaus. Now when Sir Bob had stabbed at Buttaviaus, he hadn't actually wounded him, but when he told his story to the king, the king said Sir Bob had acted rightly, and that was what really counted, so he replaced all of Sir Bob's stolen things. But the next night, the excact same thing happened and Buttaviaus had gotten clean away with over half of Sir Bob's possesions. So Sir Bob went to the king again and since Sir Bob was one of the king's favorite knights, the king replaced his stuff. Two nights later, the same thing happened, this time Buttavaius got away with about two thirds of the poor knight's treasures. So he went to the king again, and the king did replace what Buttaviaus had stolen, but warned that this was the last time he would do so. Sir Bob thanked him and went back to his home. A fortnight later, Buttaviaus stole all of Sir Bob's things, except for some money under Sir Bob's mattress. He went to the king again, but the king told him that the last time he had replaced the knight's stolen possesions was THE LAST TIME!! So poor Sir Bob bought a ticket on a ship heading to Hawaii, even though nobody in Europe knew about Hawaii at the time. Somehow, though, he got to Hawaii, (where there's a will, there's a way) and started selling pineapples and coconuts. He built a little store called Bob's Pineapples, Coconuts, and other Exotic Foods. It didn't make much sense to have a store like that in Hawaii, because you could just pick a pineapple, coconut, or any other exotic food off a tree whenever you wanted to. That was probably why it took Sir Bob, now just Bob, really, because there aren't any knights in Hawaii, anyway, it took Bob twenty years to hoard enough money (or actually, the shells of a certain sea creature, the hookadooka, which was what they used for money in Hawaii at that time) to buy a decent house. Before that, he had to sleep in his store, which was actually some large form of a demented lean-to, which changed shape every day, on account of the wind blowing it down at night and Bob rebuilding it in the morning into an even stranger-shaped structure. Anyway, he got enough money and bought a house. It even had a toilet. "Ahhh..." said Bob, sitting on the pot. "...this is the life. No Buttaviaus, no nothing." Just then, Buttaviaus jumped out of the toildet bowl and stabbed Bob to death. Poor Bob. Oh, well. At least it was over quickly.

The End

*Note: this takes place in the 1300s. We don't know how flushing toilets and bathrooms got into this. It doesn't really matter, anyway. Live with it.

84 Cans of Tuna

Yesterday there was some really cheap tuna at the supermarket so we bought eighty-four cans of it, and now they're all in the cupboard. It was such a great deal, we just couldn't resist. We don't even like tuna.

The Adventures of John Smith Weirdy Chapter 2

Chapter Two is (unfortunately) here!

The Adventures of John Smith Weirdy

Chapter 2

As I was walking home with my dad, we encountered a strange ǧÝ. The Ç§Ý smiled at us, holding up a large wooden Cheerio. We politely accepted it, and as we both grabbed onto it, it suddenly, and without warning, shot off into outer space. We kindly asked the Cheerio if he would please put us down, to which he replied, "Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes I will take you down down down down woo woo woo. Yes." So he landed right across the street from your house. Yes, that was what that noise was last night. "Mraaaaack! Woaaaaaank!" my dad said. "Can you take us home?" I asked. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!" (Isn't copy and paste wonderful?) he said. "I will take you home yes I will yes." He flew up in the air, and landed next to a small brown cottage. A fat lady with a beard came out of the front door and rolled around on the ground, squirming and farting until we left. "I don't think that was our house," I said. Strangely, there was no eraser, so we all dug a hole. Then we deposited our excrement in the hole, not noticing the giant porthole that the old man named Mr. Erickson came out of. Mr. Erickson said we were all dumb and he told us to go home. So then we ate some popsicles and went back to my great-grandmother's house.

End of Chapter 2 Yes

The Adventures of John Smith Weirdy

Since so many people have been asking, "Who is John Smith Weirdy? Where does he come from?" and other similar questions, I--well....maybe not that many people....or....well, hardly any....well actually, to be honest, nobody asked any questions, but still, I'm going to write about my adventures in Weirdo Land (where I live). So here is....

The Adventures of John Smith Weirdy

Chapter 1

One day, I was walking along the Abnormaly Neon Green Stream, when I spotted a man hopelessly tangled in a mess of hardened ginger ale remnants. I walked over to help him, but as soon as I came within a yard of the man, a giant Gukko bird descended and handed me a pair of chrome silver pajamas. Naturally, I went behind a bush to change into them. When I came back, the man and the bird were gone. "Too bad" I thought, as I ate my underwear. "They were such a nice couple." As soon as a finished the hole, I immediately jumped in and waited for something to happen. All of the sudden, a ten-foot-long dark blue rat appeared out of the buttonhole of my pajamas. "I should have known something like this would happen," I muttered to myself as a desperately attempted to bite my butt. Finally, the rat spoke. "Shoooooooooooooooooooooooooobooboo. Yeah." he said, then lunged at me with a can of Play-Doh in his hand. Just in time, my dad came along and, with his amazing weirdness powers, (seriously, he's like ten times weirder than me) scared the rat away. "Mraaaaaauuuck! Woaaaang! Maaaaaaog! Rhaaq!" my dad said, with his upper lip extended almost past his nose. "Uhhhhh... sure. Yeah. C'mon lets go back to your cage--er--er...room." He scares me sometimes.

End of Chapter 1 Yes

Problem with Skateboard

I keep messing up my treflip.

Short Story

Here is a short story I wrote.

ONE DAY I WAS STUPID AND DOODOO BUT BOB WAS ORANGE SO CRACKERS DIDN'T. CAUSE IF YOU EXHALE AND ARE AN EXEMPLIFICATORIONARIOR THEN JOE IS COOL. AND THEN IT WAS SHINY, SO WE ALL LIVED UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER.

P.S. I HATE YOU SO MUCH

Sickness

I was sick and that is why I have not been posting. Although sickness is usually not fun, unless you like being sick, don't like being sick but still think it's fun, or need to be sick as part of your disguise as a sick person so you can get into a certain hospital to deliver a secret packet of information to a certain person who will go to the dairy farm and deliver the secret packet of information on the location of the sugar bowl to some cheesemakers, you are probably glad I was sick, scince that stopped me from posting nonsenseical and/or stupid stuff on this blog.

Thirteen Weeks

It's been about THIRTEEN WEEKS since this blog was created. Or something like that. No, actually I have no idea. But yeah. About sort of.

Suspicious Lady Update

I have been watching the lady at my school that looks like Count Olaf for the past few weeks, and I quickly noticed another thing that makes me think even more that she's Count Olaf. She's (or he's) got white stockings on. White stockings that you can't see through. White stockings that would be perfect for hiding a tatoo of an eye on your left ankle!

Largest Flower

The largest flower in the world weighs 24 pounds and smells like rotting flesh. It would make a great houseplant.

It's three feet in diameter.

Zoo-Wee Mama

My very own Zoo-Wee Mama comic.

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

My dad said I have to close down my blog because it's too weird. I'll be deleting it tomorrow. Actually, that's probably good for you, but I really liked my blog. )-:

THIS MONSTROSITY WAS CREATED BY A STRANGE PERSON
AND RATHER UNFOURTUNATELY WAS PUT HERE AT 12:08 PM

----------------------------------------------------------

Happy April Fool's Day!

A New Picture of Me

I am so beautiful. Finally, my almost unbearably attractive face is revealed to the general public.

I was having a spasam of weirdness right there, sorry about that. I'm still devilishly handsome.

New Website!

I made a website but it's not the one I've told you I was making. It's a cheesy little thing, but it has forums, so for at least right now, use those and ignore the other one. Here's the web address: fingajinga.webs.com

Oh, and by the way, now there are 39 Posts! Amazing.

Now and Later Thing Update (see "New Package of Little Now and Later Thingies")

I just opened the Apple flavored package and there are actually four individual Now and Laters in there, but each is wrapped in plain wax paper instead of the normal wrapper.

Yogo Gyp

I just opened a package of these sour Yogos and they only gave me three greens, which are the best and sourest flavor. What a ripoff.

New Package of Little Now and Later Thingies

Yesterday I bought like this pack of Now and Laters but they were actually bars that are worth like four Now and Laters each and there were eight in the package, and they were all different flavors. Here's a list of them in rainbow order....

Grape
Cherry
Strawberry
Peach Smash
Banana
Pineapple
Apple
Watermelon

and in alphabetical

Apple
Banana
Cherry
Grape
Peach Smash
Pineapple
Strawberry
Watermelon

So since one bar is worth four regulars, and there's eight bars, that means there's....let's see, four times eight....thirty two! Thirty two Now and Laters! Eight different flavors! AND.....I bought it at the 99 cents store!

My Favorite Color

Here's my favorite color: John Smith Weirdy
By the way, did you know that yellow is the favorite color of most insane people?

St. Patrick's Day

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Well, actually, happy St. Patrick's Day! Hmph. So there. Orange. What're you going to do about it?

Pee-Scented Cleaner Still Remains

It's been five days since my dad used that awful spray cleaner that smells like pee. (see Pee-Scented Bathroom Cleaner) and the smell still remains. This is horrible!

Dust in Floppy Disk Drive

Last night I pushed open the little door on my floppy disk drive and looked in for no particular reason at all, and saw piles and piles of dust. Huge mounds, about a half inch high in some places! I want so bad to clean it! Every time I think about it, I feel like somebody's tickling me from the inside of me and I want to clean all the dust off SO BAD!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

Added Benefit of my Blog

Another good thing about having a blog is that I can do this when my mom tells me to practice my typing, instead of using that dumbhead typing program. Ha ha. Take that, Typing Instructor Deluxe!

Pee-Scented Bathroom Cleaner

Today my dad used a cleaner, you know, from a spray bottle, like Windex, and the stuff smells EXACTLY like old, stale, pee. This horrendous spray is called "X·14 Oxy Citrus" They say it smells like citrus fruit but this is a completely false claim. It smells like pee. My dad used it in the morning, and you can still smell it in the bathroom and also in my parents' bedroom, where my dad used it on the computer keyboard. If you ever see this, don't buy it. Remember, "X·14 Oxy Citrus" cleaner.

Suspicious-Looking Lady at School

Today a woman was sighted that looks suspiciously like Count Olaf. She had the same large, curving nose, long chin, glinty eyes, and get this: she had painted-on eyebrows! Count Olaf must have shaved off his unibrow and painted on eyebrows. This is not a joke. I really saw this lady. She looked just like him.

Fingajinga Forums

Guess what I now have a FORUM that's really weird! You're thinking now, "Oh, great, first this demented blog pops up, then he tells us he's working on a website, and now a forum! What will become of us?!" But don't worry; here's the web address of it so you'll know not to go there: http://fingajingaforums.groups.live.com

Rottwilers (And Other Equally Horrid Dogs)

Rottwilers are horrible. They are vicious and mean and awful and bloodthirsty. They like to maul people. I hate rottwilers. They're ugly, too. Also ugly and mean are pitbulls. Pitbulls are very very ugly as well as being vicious. Also bulldogs, of course. Bulldogs win first prize for hideousness. I think all theese dogs--rottwilers, pitbulls, bulldogs--should be completely wiped off the face of the earth (Along with purple-striped jellyfish). Do you have a rottwiler? Hate mail to the usual address, please.

Sock Problems Resolved (See "Not Enough Socks")

Well, my mom found out from my blog that I'd been wearing socks dug out of the hamper, and bought me some new ones (Maybe she didn't like me wearing dirty socks? I don't know, that seems pretty far-fetched, but I can't think of any other explaination. Can you? Email me.) Anyway, she bought me some new socks, which are fine except they "HANES", you know, like on underwear waistbands? Except this is on the bottom, right behind the toe, in theese huge big blue letters, and it's so big and fat it bothers my foot. Oh, well. Whatever.

MILESTONE: 26 Posts!

Cayenne Pepper in Scrambled Eggs

Sometimes my dad will put cayenne pepper in scrambled eggs and I hate it. I like cayenne pepper in some things, but I DO NOT LIKE IT IN EGGS!!! Grrrrrr.

Baked Potatoes

I had a baked potato for dinner today. I put butter and salt and pepper and cheese on it and then I ate it, even the skin. Before, I didn't like mashed potatoes or baked potatoes but then I learned that if you don't put gravy on my mashed potatoes it makes them way better so then I liked mashed potatoes, and would even try to mash up my baked potato into a mashed one, by mashing it. But then suddenly, and without warning, I stopped liking mashed potatoes. Then one day my mom made me eat a baked potato and I liked it. So that's the real story behind all the folklore and legends.

Fountain Accomplishments

There's this fountain in the backyard that was filled with glarkeeshnarkee (FreakenLakinDookinFlakin word for mucky, brown, water that has algae and rotten leaves and all kinds of garbage and sludge in it) so me and some other weirdo dumped it out and hosed it down, the whole thing, and then a beautiful mosiac appeared when all the garbage was gone. So then we set it up again and fixed the pump (well, plugged it in), and filled it water and now there's a nice little fountain in the backyard. Yay.

p.s. I'm sorry I didn't do anything on the blog in so long. I'm so ashamed....

Sweethearts

You know the Sweethearts candy from Necco? Do you like them? I HATE them. They taste awful. I got a box in science class and gave it to Casey, and he tried selling it to Noah, and then I said, "Hey, I want those back!", because I wanted to sell them, but then nobody would buy them, so now I'm stuck with this lousy box of Sweethearts. Maybe Terrence will want them. Hmmmm..... or Chris..... fifty cents?..... no, too low, better start high and lower the price..... make 'em think they're getting a discount..... I wonder how much dough I can make.......

More Thoughts on Breakfast

As described in "Thoughts on Breakfast", cereal boxes continually say how wonderful breakfast is. Here's one example, copied word for word from a Kellog's Cocoa Krispies box.

Start your day with a delicious bowl of Kellog's cereal and you'll benefit from it's nutrients. That's right, research shows that breakfast is linked to having a healthy body weight. Breakfast eaters have healthier body weights than those who skip breakfast. In fact, studies show eating cereal as part of a nutritious breakfast is important for both children and adults to promote healthy weight.

Lies. All lies. My dad has been not eating breakfast for some time now and he's losing weight. Just another gimmick to sell cereal. What's the world coming to?

Progress is Progressing on the Website

Unfortunately, I'm steadily working on the website. Hopefully, the files will inexplicably disappear off my computer. The world would be a better place if they did.

Thirteen Days

It's been THIRTEEN DAYS since this blog was created.

More Weirdness

You probably thought I had stopped posting. You thought, "He hasn't done anything in four days, he's forgotten about the whole thing. We're safe." Well, you were wrong! I'm back, and I have more deppressingly weird news. I'm making a website, that, if possible, will be even weirder than this blog. It's not ready yet, but when it is, I'll tell you the web address so you know what to avoid.

Barnacle Problems

Barnacles are destroying the historic Nardobee Pier in southern Montotistan. Most scientists agree that removing them would cause a serious problem. They don't know what the problem would be, but you can bet it'll be serious. So there's nothing we can do. Too bad.

Major Bookin' Cook Awesomeness

I got to level 10 of 12 on Cartoon Network.com's Bookin' Cook! And it's very hard that high up, even if the game has a retarded name.

Scrambled Egg Success

Just last night I made PERFECT scrambled eggs with just the right amount of butter in the pan (see "Scrambled Eggs"). Yay!

Now & Later "Green Tingleberry"

There is a new flavor of Now and Later called Green Tingleberry, and it is HORRIBLE! Don't eat it! It comes in a pack with Red Radberry and Purple Wildberry. Red Radberry isn't very good; it's too sweet with no flavor. Purple Wildberry is the best, but it's not good enough to buy the whole thing, since the other two thirds are no good. And plus, all of them have dumb names.

Boiled Eggs

I hate boiled eggs. I love all other kinds of eggs, but I hate them boiled. Yuk.

MILESTONE: 13 Posts!

Not Enough Socks

I don't have enough socks so I end up wearing dirty ones I dig up from the dirty clothes hamper. I need more socks. It's not that I mind wearing dirty ones; I could care less, but digging them out of the hamper is a pain.

Small Basketball Veiwed on Big! Lots Sign

Rumors about a basketball on the "L" of the Big! Lots sign were confirmed yesterday. Here's a photo:

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone out there! Well....not everyone. There's a few people whose names I won't mention who I really don't like and ......

Useless Scooter

The shocks constantly fall out of my scooter, to the point where the whole thing is now useless. They fall out about every thirty seconds. Dumb shocks.

Mounds Bar

I reccieved a Mounds bar today. Mounds bars are the best candy on earth.

Wasted Saturdays

Adults waste Saturdays so often. They make kids go to art museums, concerts, shopping trips, and all kinds of things, and don't let the kids stay home and play video games in peace, or play with their freinds down the street. It's awful. In just a few minutes I will be forced to go on a bunch of errands with my parents. This stinks.

Thoughts on Breakfast

All those cereal boxes always say "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day" and all that. They say it gives you thinking power for school. Energy. All kinds of stuff. But why should we trust them? They want to sell their dumb cereal to make more dough so what do you think they're going to say? "Breakfast is not important at all." ? Breakfast is a hoax. And so are all the other meals. I never get hungry at lunch or dinner. Instead of "Breakfast" when you wake up, "Lunch" in the middle of the day, and "Dinner" in the early evening, we should have these mealtimes: "Floco" at around 10:00 a.m., "Slataboo" at about 3:30 p.m., and "Vorvavoota" right before bed. That's when I get hungry.

p.s. you might think "Brunch" would be a better name for "Floco", but you see, "Brunch" is a combination of "Breakfast" and "Lunch", and we're completely eliminating any traces of those. So that's why we use "Floco", which literally means "Middle of the morning" in FreakenLakenDookinFlakin, the official national language of Weirdo Land.

p.p.s. "Slataboo" means "afternoon euphoria", and "Vorvavoota" means "nighty-night-night-night-night."

Anti-Snailitism

When you make your profile on this thing, you can say you're male, female, or not specify. But what about snails? Snails are male and female at the same time! What about them? What if they want to make a blogspot account? It's not fair.

Scrambled Eggs

Scrambled eggs are disgusting with too much butter in the pan. Nauseating. I think I'm going to barf now....

My Views on Leftover Spaghetti

Leftover spaghetti is disgusting. That's all there is to it. The sauce is all dried on to the spaghetti so you have to put water on it before you put it in the microwave, and you end up with semi-moist congealed garbage sticking to the spaghetti with red tomato flavored water in the bottom of your bowl. Lousy garbage.

New Lego Set

I got a new lego set.

New Blog

This is a new blog. It is small right now, but it will be bigger later.